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"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." -Albert SchweitzerWhat do you want to teach your daughter or son? What values do you want her or him to learn? Moreover, what are your values and how do you help your child practice them? These kinds of questions go to the heart of effective parenting. While many parenting approaches teach "techniques" I encourage parents to be mindful of what they want to accomplish ("How would I like it to be?") and of how they want to get there. Children learn primarily from what they experience, not just from what they are told. Every interaction we have with a child is an opportunity for her or him to learn something and often there are many lessons (sometimes conflicting lessons) learned in just one interaction. What we model through our behavior with kids is what they learn. But no one gets an "owner's manual" when they have a child. So be gentle with yourself because every child is a little bit different and parenting is often a process of mucking around while learning what's effective. Are you repeatedly arguing with your daughter or son? Are you in doubt of your own authority as a parent? Is it difficult to be consistent or to know where to be consistent? I can help. My parenting approach is straight forward and kind. Please call me with any questions you might have at 503-252-3739. These pages and this site are always in development. For more on my background and training please go to my Adults And Parents page and my Biography page. For short parenting articles I have written, please click here and for parenting books I recommend please go to my books page. |
