Organizing For Good Study Habits
By D. Wilson Johns
Parents frequently ask me for help in getting their kids
to follow through with completing homework and with
developing good study habits. Sometimes these parents admit
that they too feel disorganized in their daily lives. This
is common; kids learn behaviors by watching their parents'
behaviors.
Unfortunately, parents may become anxious and even angry
when a daughter or son is disorganized and fails to keep
track of assignments, complete homework, or even fails to
turn in completed work. Parents may get angry because they
want to motivate their kids, because they want their kids to
succeed, and because they don't want their kids to suffer
the same pains they experienced as students or that they
experience now as adults. In other words, loving parents get
angry with their kids in an attempt to help them. Good
intentions, unfortunate follow-through.
WHAT HELPS?
Kids want to succeed. "I don't care.", is a way to cope
with feeling anxious and fearful. Start by verbalizing to
your daughter or son what you would like for them: "I love
you and I'd like for you to feel successful in school."
Second, define and stick to specific expectations for
studying at home. Possible examples are:
1. You will sit down at the kitchen table each evening at
6:30 PM for one hour and study.
2. If you have no homework you will invent your own by
reading a book or doing extra credit assignments.
3. No t.v. or distracting music while studying.
Third, you as parent can greatly assist your child by
modeling certain behaviors:
- Support your daughter or son by keeping the t.v. off
and maintaining a quiet home during study times.
- Utilize your child's study time as an opportunity to
strengthen your relationship with your daughter/son; ask
questions about her/his work, help solve a problem, or
just check-in every 20 minutes to ask how it's going and
to offer encouragement.
- Utilize this time to listen to your daughter or son
about issues in their life if homework just isn't getting
done.
Good study habits are precisely that: Habits. Kids
learn by watching their parents; you watched your parents
too and learned both helpful and unhelpful habits. So, don't
blame yourself for your child's difficulties; become curious
about your family's unique behaviors. Your curiosity will
lead you to solutions that work best for you. Then you can
model new habits for your kids that can last a lifetime.
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