1.

The safe and respectful relationship between client and counselor is what is fundamental to and is the best predictor of quality outcomes for clients.

2.

A definition of psychotherapy: Giving people a different experience of themselves individually and in relationship with another.

3.

Don't try to change anyone. (If you "care", do continue caring.)

4.

Do attempt to understand people more than help people.

5.

Emphasize contracting for the type of relationship you have with clients.

6.

Be yourself: Invent the "Julie" or "Ed", etc., way of relating.

7.

Use your natural curiosity about a person to build relationship.

8.

When in doubt about what to do next, strengthen the relationship and rapport with a client. (Use the Pace - Pace - Lead method.)

9.

Decrease your use of the word "Why." (Bye Why.)

10.

Decrease your use of the word "But." ("Scratch Your Buts.")